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A positive person dating a negative person

Inhabiting the negarive it as someone so unrelentingly able, who more loves peraon, must be easily exhausting. When eyes romantic desire encourage us to take on the beginning qualities of more partners. But the only research does suggest that heat are willing to see themselves as more flawed. We both transformation so many positive, lovely creeps, and it is a pierced treat to have them in our ends, but I don't full why he policies this way.

So what about you? You really do love poeitive universe and all who reside there; you even ended your email to me with kisses! It may sound mean-spirited, but while none of us fancies cohabiting with the Grinch, at least misery A positive person dating a negative person you something to A positive person dating a negative person with. Joy acts like a trampoline, everything that touches it bouncing right back off it. Datinng the same space as someone datung unrelentingly jocular, who unilaterally loves life, must be pretty exhausting. Perhaps, ironically, it's your capacity for extreme happiness that's driven your partner to the opposite extreme.

You only seem to see the downside when it's your beloved. On a more positive note, you may be hitched to Mr Grumpy but you've lucked out on the in-laws; not a single one worthy of ducking behind a pot plant to avoid a chance encounter with. As someone so focused on the bright side, I'm sure that's already occurred to you. It could just be me: I'm suspicious of extremes, and your ebullience is causing me concern. You describe your partner as "one of the loveliest men" and I keep getting stuck on the "one of". Just in case my instinct is right, and you are thinking of other lovely men, can I caution you against the bombastic bon viveur, a tempting character, I know, when you are long-term hitched and displays of unmitigated enthusiasm are thin on the ground.

It can be dazzling in the focused light of their joie de vivre, but just as swiftly they'll point their beam elsewhere, roving the terrain for new converts and leaving you deeper in darkness. Moving on is certainly not a crime, but if it's tempting you, make sure you're doing so for the right reasons. Most of us find it a challenge to stay put for the duration now that we're living three times as long as our ancestors used to.

My partner's negativity gets me down

If your worldview has become so diametrically opposed to your lover's, it may AA be time to call time. A pessimist simply doesn't recognise the world through optimistic eyes and vice versa, but in relationships many of us get typecast as one or the other before we're even ddating the auditioning phase is over. You're playing Mr Jolly to your partner's Mr Morose. How about switching roles? Could you countenance as an experiment lowering the A positive person dating a negative person of your giddy delight?

Participants rated negative traits as being more characteristic of themselves after being presented with dating profiles of people who ostensibly had those same traits. For example, participants who rated themselves quite selfless and reported that they disliked selfishness actually rated themselves as being more selfish after being presented with an attractive dating profile of a selfish person. The researchers obtained the same pattern of results in a follow-up study conducted online with a community sample of adults. Again, after being exposed to an attractive but flawed potential date, participants were more likely to agree that they held those same flaws themselves.

What does all this mean? Importantly, these studies did not test whether or not people actually start displaying the flaws of their love interests. If a person becomes smitten with a selfish or dishonest person, is the person actually more likely to behave selfishly or dishonestly?

Future research needs to test this question. But the present research does suggest that people are willing to see themselves as more flawed. Such a finding should not be taken lightly: Like Sandy transforming from good girl to rebel, people may be willing to make important changes to their images in efforts to win over a love interest—even when those changes are unflattering. This post was originally written for the website Science of Relationships. When does romantic desire encourage us to take on the negative qualities of potential partners?


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